Post by droidofages on Jul 26, 2009 14:06:32 GMT -4
SIGH... That folks, was the sound of my high hopes for this movie being dashed into a dozen one-liners.
***DISCLAIMER*** The following opinions are all based on speculation from a cranky old skeptic with potty mouth. I know I'm jumping to conclusions in some cases, and I sincerely hope I'm wrong and pleasantly surprised by the final outcome of this project:
CBR has an article on the early Jonah Hex movie info released at the SD Con HERE. These are the lowlights that have me cringing:
"...it [the sneak preview shown at the Con] was part comic book adaptation, part action-thriller, part spaghetti western and contained supernatural elements."
I thought Jimmy Palmiotti had said there was no occult elements in the movie?... Very disappointing. It's rare that this aspect makes its way into the comics and when it does even I, a hardcore Jonah fan can't really get into it. Maybe the movie will do it better than the comics though. We'll see.
"And all present would agree that the film delivered on its main promise – it was fun!"
I know. Some of you will think of me as a stick in the mud, but "fun" is not a word I would use to describe anything relating to Jonah Hex. He's an ugly character (not just physically) in an ugly world, doing (mostly) ugly things to (mostly) ugly people. It's unpleasant and strangely complex. "Fun" doesn't really come to mind when I read the comics. Just like with the Punisher, it shouldn't be a pleasant or amusing experience watching these people at work. I don't really picture scenes where I turn to my buddy and go; "Cooooool!". Save that kind of experience for characters that exhibit that in the comics, like Deadpool or Spider-Man or the Teen Titans. Those should all be fun and funny. Characters like Jonah, Frank or even Logan to a lesser degree, should be hard to watch but compelling none the less. Not someone you admire or would cheer for in real life, but who are more than two dimensions and engaging none the less. Am I asking too much here? We've seen examples of movies like this that have succeed financially as well as critically, right? ... Bah! grumble grumble grumble...
"The filmmaker explained that they just finished shooting their final footage for the project, and added that they literally filmed actress Megan Fox’s last scenes just 48 hours ago."
I know there is no evidence backing up my suspicion and it's not necessary to explain the nature of movie shooting schedules; BUT this statement makes me fear that they've boosted her role at some point, part way through the creation of this movie. $20 (and by $20, I mean $0) says she has more than a "cameo" (a cameo being just one or two scenes to me).
"The filmmaker made one final promise to the fans gathered – “Jonah Hex” would not be “a slow, dusty western.”
Oh god... I have the sneaking suspicion that this is going to be full of shitty John Woo/Matrix/Underworld rip-off action sequences, all strung together by hacky one-liners...
"Fantastic gunfighting action was on full display…"
Could be good news, but I guess that depends on how one defines "fantastic gunfighting" for what I obviously feel should be a straight-up spaghetti western. Brutal six-gun battles with knives, axes and occasional shotguns, rifles, gatlings and explosives... Maybe a clever trap or two... cool. Slow motion acrobatics with bullet time and what essentially equates to super powers punctuated by horrible script and over acting... not so cool.
"...in addition to the display of Megan Fox’s body (she plays a prostitute named Leila in the film). Additional shots included John Malkovich’s villain Turnbull, zombies (of some sort), and a full display of Hex’s deformity."
Notice they're talking about the T 'n A and gore more than any kind of story or character development? Maybe it's just the editing of this article. Maybe it's the advice of marketing to push all those aspects in an attempt to appeal to a different demographic than previous westerns. Screaming "THIS ISN'T YOUR GRAMPY'S JOHN WAYNE MOVIES!!!!"... regardless, it doesn't bode well for the film in my increasingly deflated opinion.
"The trailer ended with Hex confronting a villain who asks the gunslinger, “What happened to your face?” Hex then throws a knife into the fellow’s forehead and responds, “I cut myself shaving. What happened to yours?”
Oh fuck me, are you kidding? Seriously? Jesus fuck.
Brolin: "The whole thing has got circus and absurdity elements to it, and all that got me really excited to do it.”
Groan...
"Fox then explained she plays Leila, the love interest of Hex. She’s a prostitute that the hero has been visiting for years, and although he does love her, everyone close to Hex dies so he keeps her at a distance. She doesn’t understand why he refuses to let her in, and therefore they have a “push and pull” type of relationship."
And there's the unnecessary romantic subplot... fuck...
"...they used spaghetti westerns as a “jumping-off point” for what they were trying to do. He promised action elements blended with supernatural elements; however, contrary to on line reports, he wanted to inform fans that there are no voodoo practitioners or armies of the undead (despite the few zombie-like folks that did appear in the trailer)."
So I guess the zombie-like folks aren't the supernatural type? They're just those average, run-of-the-mill type zombies... Mixed messages?
"the actor [Brolin] added that the whole film was challenging because “you don’t have a model for this particular movie. It’s a different type of movie."
WTF? How about every Clint Eastwood western ever made?
"...It once came out of my mouth, and I don’t know why, but I’ve said it’s a 'fantasmagorium of insanity.'"
So I guess subtlety is right off the map on this one... fuck.
“We didn’t have a ton of money to do it. It’s a movie that – looking at the teaser we were just shown – looks like a $70 million film."
So a post civil war western that looks like a $70 million film... Am I the only one who sees the disconnect?
"When asked why she [Megan Fox] seems to be attracted to action films, the actress said, “I love the physicality of it. If you want to smack me or beat my ass, do it.”
“And I said to leave your fetishes at work,” Brolin slyly remarked, to boisterous laughter from the audience."
Aw Christ... This is going to have the same "humour" as Transformers isn't it?
"Considering studios are always asking, ‘What can we model this after?’ – it seems that when you do something truly original, audiences really appreciate it…I think audiences are a lot smarter than studios give them credit for.”
Man, the irony of that last statement is actually painful.
... I am officially going on record as predicting that this movie will be a big let down for people with tastes similar to mine (other crotchety old thirty-somethings going on eighty-something). Oh well. Not really surprising anymore coming from Hollywood.
***DISCLAIMER*** The following opinions are all based on speculation from a cranky old skeptic with potty mouth. I know I'm jumping to conclusions in some cases, and I sincerely hope I'm wrong and pleasantly surprised by the final outcome of this project:
CBR has an article on the early Jonah Hex movie info released at the SD Con HERE. These are the lowlights that have me cringing:
"...it [the sneak preview shown at the Con] was part comic book adaptation, part action-thriller, part spaghetti western and contained supernatural elements."
I thought Jimmy Palmiotti had said there was no occult elements in the movie?... Very disappointing. It's rare that this aspect makes its way into the comics and when it does even I, a hardcore Jonah fan can't really get into it. Maybe the movie will do it better than the comics though. We'll see.
"And all present would agree that the film delivered on its main promise – it was fun!"
I know. Some of you will think of me as a stick in the mud, but "fun" is not a word I would use to describe anything relating to Jonah Hex. He's an ugly character (not just physically) in an ugly world, doing (mostly) ugly things to (mostly) ugly people. It's unpleasant and strangely complex. "Fun" doesn't really come to mind when I read the comics. Just like with the Punisher, it shouldn't be a pleasant or amusing experience watching these people at work. I don't really picture scenes where I turn to my buddy and go; "Cooooool!". Save that kind of experience for characters that exhibit that in the comics, like Deadpool or Spider-Man or the Teen Titans. Those should all be fun and funny. Characters like Jonah, Frank or even Logan to a lesser degree, should be hard to watch but compelling none the less. Not someone you admire or would cheer for in real life, but who are more than two dimensions and engaging none the less. Am I asking too much here? We've seen examples of movies like this that have succeed financially as well as critically, right? ... Bah! grumble grumble grumble...
"The filmmaker explained that they just finished shooting their final footage for the project, and added that they literally filmed actress Megan Fox’s last scenes just 48 hours ago."
I know there is no evidence backing up my suspicion and it's not necessary to explain the nature of movie shooting schedules; BUT this statement makes me fear that they've boosted her role at some point, part way through the creation of this movie. $20 (and by $20, I mean $0) says she has more than a "cameo" (a cameo being just one or two scenes to me).
"The filmmaker made one final promise to the fans gathered – “Jonah Hex” would not be “a slow, dusty western.”
Oh god... I have the sneaking suspicion that this is going to be full of shitty John Woo/Matrix/Underworld rip-off action sequences, all strung together by hacky one-liners...
"Fantastic gunfighting action was on full display…"
Could be good news, but I guess that depends on how one defines "fantastic gunfighting" for what I obviously feel should be a straight-up spaghetti western. Brutal six-gun battles with knives, axes and occasional shotguns, rifles, gatlings and explosives... Maybe a clever trap or two... cool. Slow motion acrobatics with bullet time and what essentially equates to super powers punctuated by horrible script and over acting... not so cool.
"...in addition to the display of Megan Fox’s body (she plays a prostitute named Leila in the film). Additional shots included John Malkovich’s villain Turnbull, zombies (of some sort), and a full display of Hex’s deformity."
Notice they're talking about the T 'n A and gore more than any kind of story or character development? Maybe it's just the editing of this article. Maybe it's the advice of marketing to push all those aspects in an attempt to appeal to a different demographic than previous westerns. Screaming "THIS ISN'T YOUR GRAMPY'S JOHN WAYNE MOVIES!!!!"... regardless, it doesn't bode well for the film in my increasingly deflated opinion.
"The trailer ended with Hex confronting a villain who asks the gunslinger, “What happened to your face?” Hex then throws a knife into the fellow’s forehead and responds, “I cut myself shaving. What happened to yours?”
Oh fuck me, are you kidding? Seriously? Jesus fuck.
Brolin: "The whole thing has got circus and absurdity elements to it, and all that got me really excited to do it.”
Groan...
"Fox then explained she plays Leila, the love interest of Hex. She’s a prostitute that the hero has been visiting for years, and although he does love her, everyone close to Hex dies so he keeps her at a distance. She doesn’t understand why he refuses to let her in, and therefore they have a “push and pull” type of relationship."
And there's the unnecessary romantic subplot... fuck...
"...they used spaghetti westerns as a “jumping-off point” for what they were trying to do. He promised action elements blended with supernatural elements; however, contrary to on line reports, he wanted to inform fans that there are no voodoo practitioners or armies of the undead (despite the few zombie-like folks that did appear in the trailer)."
So I guess the zombie-like folks aren't the supernatural type? They're just those average, run-of-the-mill type zombies... Mixed messages?
"the actor [Brolin] added that the whole film was challenging because “you don’t have a model for this particular movie. It’s a different type of movie."
WTF? How about every Clint Eastwood western ever made?
"...It once came out of my mouth, and I don’t know why, but I’ve said it’s a 'fantasmagorium of insanity.'"
So I guess subtlety is right off the map on this one... fuck.
“We didn’t have a ton of money to do it. It’s a movie that – looking at the teaser we were just shown – looks like a $70 million film."
So a post civil war western that looks like a $70 million film... Am I the only one who sees the disconnect?
"When asked why she [Megan Fox] seems to be attracted to action films, the actress said, “I love the physicality of it. If you want to smack me or beat my ass, do it.”
“And I said to leave your fetishes at work,” Brolin slyly remarked, to boisterous laughter from the audience."
Aw Christ... This is going to have the same "humour" as Transformers isn't it?
"Considering studios are always asking, ‘What can we model this after?’ – it seems that when you do something truly original, audiences really appreciate it…I think audiences are a lot smarter than studios give them credit for.”
Man, the irony of that last statement is actually painful.
... I am officially going on record as predicting that this movie will be a big let down for people with tastes similar to mine (other crotchety old thirty-somethings going on eighty-something). Oh well. Not really surprising anymore coming from Hollywood.