Chronic Insomnia

[Chronic Insomnia]

Show # 119 The Distorted Files

This week we go completely off the rails and push our expensive microphones to the limit and basically yell the whole damn show. It's like we just came back from a Metallica concert and we can't hear shit. Along with just plain being loud, we are in top form, for us, as we discuss everything from how much Ryan gets into the giving spirit during Christmas, to which one of us has the larger boobies.

chronicinsomnia.podbean.com/

Check out the show and tell us what you think. We love the all of you.



The Chronic Crew

[remy138]

BOOOOOOOO!, for no show this week!

[Chronic Insomnia]

There will actually be a SHOW this week, it's just going to be a little baby one with mostly stuff from the past. It's like a greatest hits show this week. So yeah, we will be uploading a show, but it's not going to have much new material on it.

We are taking the week off to work on some new Bumps for segmentos on our show and then begin the huge undertaking of our Christmas Special. I guess it also depends on how bad our winter storm gets in the next few hours. It's really bad out there right now. I just drove home from my friends house after role-playing and it was like 9 miles, but it took me nearly 40 minutes to drive home. The freeways had like 5 inches of snow on them and I was driving my wifes Buick Skylark, which is not exactly a snow machine, so it was fun fun fun. I'm just glad I made it home actually. The freeway was totally deserted, just goes to show you how much I wasn't paying attention to how bad the roads were until it was too late really. I just had to tough it out and be careful and drive 30mph the whole way home.

So yeah, about tomorrow nights show, there will be something to listen to for sure, but we just aren't sure what that might be. We have to take a week off at some point.

The shows for the 21st will actually be uploading on Christmas Eve as a Christmas Present to our listeners and then the New Years show will be released on New Years Eve, so people can listen to our show while they cheer in the new year.

Michael

[Chronic Insomnia]

Mike smashes car into tree outside Studio B.



At 2:26 pm on Tuesday, Mike smashed his car into a tree outside Studio B, in the city that God forgot. Sources say that Michael was caught by his co-host Ryan Lee after cheating on him with at least 13 other podcasts. During the alleged fight, Ryan chased Mike out of the house with a golf club, beating on the back window of Michael's car. Ryan had caught Mike uploading another podcast while working on Chronic Insomnia.

Ryan was able to obtain Michael's laptop and find all of the other podcasts he's been hanging around with. Officers of the City that God forgot found Michael on the driveway snoring without his shoes off. Ryan told police he was trying to help Mike out of the car with the golf club, but CPN News learned later that neighbors saw Ryan swinging a golf club at an obviously stunned Michael as he entered his Datson sedan to leave the Studio.

After further investigations by CPN News, we have learned that Michael was cheating with up 13 other podcasts while also doing Chronic Insomnia. The squeaky clean image of Michael is tarnished forever. Sponsors for Michael have said they will stand by the popular Podcast presenter through these rough times.

In a press conference late this evening, Michael made a statement on his personal Facebook page.

"I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt my infidelity has caused so many of my fans. I want to say I am sorry and that I ask forgiveness. It may not be possible to repair the damage I have done, but I want to give it the old Chronic Insomnia try.

I would like to ask everyone, mostly my fans and the good people of CPN for their understanding. After much soul searching, I have decided to step away from podcasting and take an indefinite break. I need to focus attention on my podcast partner and popular comic book podcast.

I ask for privacy for my podcast partner and all involved and I am especially grateful for those who have offered free sex and handjobs in these trying times."

How will the podcasting community continue without Michael? Reports from last year when Mike took a week off of the CPN, concluded that Comic Book Podcast downloads went down at least 40% over all. What will this due to the advertisers and sponsors of the CPN? Will this spell doom for other comic book podcasts?

Dennis Twat - Associated Press

[Chronic Insomnia]

ATTENTION! This could be the MOST VULGAR 70 minutes to hit the airwaves in a long long time. I think Eddie Murphy circa 1986 would blush during some of this. We should really be ashamed of ourselves, but for some reason those feelings are dormant in the two of us. Enjoy!



Issue # 900 Chronic Insomnias Greatest Hits 2009. The following show is filled with previously released bits, skits and songs from 2009. Enjoy this stroll down memory lane with us and get your fix of Chronic Insomnia at the same time. Stay tuned for next week when we release our Christmas Special 2009.

Breaking News! - Check out our blog and see what's up with the Chronic boys. You can also check out why Ryan thinks Christmas Sucks!

#1 Pee Promo
We broadcast together, feed each other finger sandwiches...and we pee together. Play your friends this promo, please. They'll either run straight toward us or away from you screaming.

#2 17 Inch Penis
When Mike needs help with a pickle jar, Ryan finds something 17 inches in length that's just what the doctor ordered.

#3 Carbonite Love Story
One our most ambitious skits involving existing audio. If you listen to us "making out" and enjoy it, you should be listening to Comic Book Queers and NOT us.

#4 Carradine
Chronic Insomnia scoops TMZ with exclusive footage of David Carradine's death in a bangkok hotel room. Forget the Eisner....give us the Pulitzer!

#5 Conjugal Visit in the Halfway House
A tear-jerking (well, something gets jerked) ode to having relations in the halfway house. And that's why we love comics!

#6 J-Flow
The only sponsor ridiculous enough to want to attach themselves to the world's most absurd comic book podcast! I can't even pitch this one without drawing the attention of the FCC, so just listen and enjoy.

#7 Gunt Shaving
Manatee Weight Loss 2009 was a huge deal this year. Probably rock bottom was this disgusting and unorthodox method of slimming some ounces off the Manatee of Podcasting.

#8 Kennedy Trick-or-Treat
Next stop on the Halloween tour was Kennedy's house. Take a spin and learn just how far Quincy will go for a handfull of fun size Butterfingers!

#9 Ryan Pukes
Yup. And we recorded it. You're welcome!

#10 The Growler
Mild Mannered scientist Dan Arcadian gained the power to disrupt the bowels of any creature when he was bitten by a radioactive grizzly bear. Thrill to the adventures of The Growler and his totally heterosexual partner Cub!

#11 Harry Trick-or-Treat
Harry Caray is always a treat - grab a Budweiser and find out what happens when Ryan & Mike visit Harry's house for some candy on Halloween!

#12 Love Taco
The most romantic thing Quincy has ever written. Play this for your special lady and watch her melt....out of the room and toward her lawyer. It's pretty damn funny to us, though.

#13 Thor in Assgard
No, that's not a typo. Cory from Dallas introduced us to Assgard, and we've got exclusive footage of Thor's misadventures in this perilous realm!

#14 Hulk visits the Enterprise
Even the enthusiastically oral Sulu might be biting off more than he can chew when the Hulk shows up on the Starship Enterprise. Even I get grossed out by this one, folks, and I helped write and record the bloody thing...

#15 Didio Interview
Ryan's first Eisner nominated interview with DC bigwig Dan Didio. As usual, I get the dirt that nobody else in the industry can. And folks, Didio is a dirty, dirty, boy if this in-depth conversation is any indication.

#16 Black Lantern
Chronic Insomnia's spoilerific preview of this year's biggest blockbuster - can even the combined might of the Green Lantern corp defeat......the Rosy Palm???

#17 Kanye Wests Ruins Our Award
You just can't take Kanye West anywhere! Will the Chronic Boys put this little D-Bag in chiggity check when he busts up our podcasting award? And is Remy to blame for this debacle?

#18 Sesame Street Bit
It will come as no surprise to many of you about what REALLY goes inside Bert & Ernie's bedroom...

#19 Christmas Miracle
Hoo boy. What would happen if Trent Reznor and Warren Ellis got together and wrote a Christmas song? It would sound a lot like this, unfortunately. This one has more rape than most carols you're used to....

#20 Damon Interview
Ryan interviews the "Lost" geek and finds out he's a freak and a jackass!

#21 Never Gonna Spit You Out
More romance, Chronic style. Some podcasts get headlining comic creators, but we get heavy hitters like Rick Astley on our show. We win.

#22 Galactus
Hey, John Galactus puts his skyscraper sized boots on one at a time just like the rest of us. Then he calls the cable company to get his reception fixed and gets hosed....just like the rest of us.

#23 J-Flow Part Two
Ernie and Bert help our sponsor demonstrate the mega-wad sack evacuator. It's good all around for everyone involved.

#24 Dennis Twought - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Only Dennis could work his frustrations with a transvestite into an ode to Kurt Cobain. Merry Christmas to everyone at The Flamingo Room!

#25 WMD promo
As soon as you're done listening to this, go to wheremonstersdwell.ca and listen to anything on the page, so you can see how these things are SUPPOSED to be done!

We Love The All Of You! We'll see you again on the 24th for our annual Christmas Special.

[Chronic Insomnia]

Hey everyone interested in the musings of Ryan Lee, should go out to our blog and read his wonderful 5+ part expression on why he hates Christmas. It's a good read for all.

chronicinsomniashow.blogspot.com

Michael

[Chronic Insomnia]

Christmas Special Thingy!



Grab that yule log like you mean it and tickle those chestnuts...it's time for the Chronic Insomnia Christmas Special! Not to be too spoilerific, but this episode features Santa Claus, some elves, Grant Morrison, The Chronic Boys, Tiger Woods, one tranvestite hooker, two murders, one accidental death, Remy's christmas presents, and just about every bodily fluid in the medical pantheon! You're welcome!

Oh, yeah....we did some comic book stuff, too:
Details on J.M. Straczynski's upcoming dream project at D.C., and why all comic book collectors are nothing more than battered house wives!

Diamond isn't shipping anything next week, but spin the cast and find out how you can still get your NEW comic fix next week if you live near the City That God Forgot!

As always, we love the all of you - thanks to everyone who shared a wonderful 2009 with us this year!

[Chronic Insomnia]

After three months of weight loss competition, I am sad to say that the totals for myself are finally in. I had all intentions of losing more weight than this, but alas fair maiden of fatness, I was unable to lose more. However that being said I think my final number, no matter the size, is going to stand up nicely to Red Shirt Ryan"s total number.

I started at 242.8 lbs. I was chubby back in the beginning of September. I am now.



So that's 230.6 lbs. which is a 12.2 lb weight loss. I wanted to be below 230, but it just wasn't in the cards I guess. I took this picture at midnight on New Years Eve, so I gave myself the best possible chance, but this is all I could do. I think it was the holidays and parties that really prevented me from losing more weight than I did.

If I lose, I am fine with that. I at least tried, unlike the last weight loss competition. I won't mention any names, but the name starts with R and ends with emy. That should give you enough of a hint. I am going to continue losing weight as the new year progresses and we might even mention it on the air at times.

Thanks for the support and hopefully by my birthday, I will be closer to my ultimate goal of being under 205. It's a big goal and it's going to be hard with my limited amount of exercise I am able to perform with the weather the way it is and how busy my life is. However as Spring comes into effect, I am going to get myself a mountain bike and Ryan and I are going to do some cycling.

Michael

[Mike]

We are proud of you, Michael. Any improvement, no matter how slight, is good. Good work.